It's been awhile, friends, and I hate that the reason that I'm writing won't be as uplifting or useful,  but this little space has been my spot to process what teaching has taught me,  lessons that have gone well or not, or just lessons that I've learned along the way as an educator. Writing has always been a cathartic exercise for me, so when things happen that I don't quite understand, it is where I turn.

Wednesday morning I woke early and was preparing to tackle my day.  I had already put into motion my usual routine - make coffee, take a shower, get ready, and log-in to facebook to check in with friends who were having birthdays, conduct a little Rodan and Fields business, and generally see what everyone was up to for the day.  While I was perusing, I ran across a post from a former student that really set me on a hunt for information.  The status was simple, "For all of you struggling with the news of Chloe Allison Duncan..."  I don't even think I read the rest of the status before I sent a message and began to investigate what had happened.

Chloe was a student in my 5th grade classroom at Tigerville 9 years ago.  I remember her clearly as a long-legged, beauty with glasses who would rather play soccer with the boys at recess than sit and make daisy chains on the hillside with the girls. She was more comfortable in her own skin at 10 years old than I was in my mid-30s.  She was quiet and didn't mind where she sat because nothing really bothered her much.  She had a laid back approach to anything, but at the same time, held herself to a high standard.  She was constantly asking how she could do better or for extra help if she needed.  The boys in the class always tried to get her attention by telling jokes or asking her if they could sit by her at lunch,etc.  She would often shrug her shoulders and say, "Sure." Chloe was a friend to everyone, even those who weren't the first choice of others.  She had a genuine heart and noticed when someone needed a friend.

That year we started a Girls on the Run club and Chloe was one of the first to sign up.  She attended every practice and at the end, we ran a 5K at Furman University.  My goal in that race was simply not to be last.  I wasn't, but Chloe had already finished the race and ran back to finish with me.  It was a simple gesture, but one that showed exactly what kind of person she would grow up to be.

Middle school arrived and Chloe went on, but she often came back to see me over the years.  She always had a hug and would rest her head on my shoulder.  She didn't need to say anything.

Fast forward to Tuesday morning...when I finally found out what had happened, I felt like I had been punched in the stomach.  Chloe had been killed in a drunk driving accident.  She was riding on the back of a motorcycle with a friend and the drunk driver hit them from behind.  I got in the car to go get my haircut and could not stop crying.  I've never experienced the death of a student and nothing prepared me for it.  I'm  still trying to process what has happened.

She was 19, a freshman in college, and recently engaged.  She was making plans and they were immediately halted, not just for her,  but her family and friends.

Gone too quickly for sure.

Chloe, you will be missed, but more importantly, you will be forever remembered.

February Currently

Let's just take a minute and applaud the fact that I showed up today.  It has been a journey and one I'm coming to terms with - a new position, finding myself in that position, and realizing that I still have things to share.

But, another day, because today is time for Currently with Farley. If you aren't quite sure what it is all about, head over to her blog Oh Boy, It's Farley!  She just got a new blog design, and ya'll it is precious!

Listening:  We don't have cable, so my background noise is ETV classics. I've learned a lot in the last few weeks.

Loving:  Since moving at the first of the year, I decreased my daily commute from an hour and 25 minutes - yes, you read that right  - to 25 minutes.  I have gained 2 hours of my life back :)  Partner that with a position that allows me to walk out of school at a decent hour and I have almost 4 hours back to my day.

Thinking:  We moved into a new to us house and it is painted with a lot of different shades of yellow - every room is different.  Throw in green and I need a new paint scheme.  I wanted to go all white because it is a farmhouse after all.  But, I can't decide white, or neutrals.  

Wanting: Could be needing as well. A new pair of jeans because I have outgrown the old ones.  I just need to get in gear and take better care of myself and then I'll have about 5 pairs of barely worn jeans at my disposal.

Needing:  Sewing is not my gift, so I need to find someone who can teach me the basics.  I need curtains desperately and boy are they expensive to purchase.  

Swooning:  Our 1895 farmhouse is my love and swoon today.  The gingerbread trim and the leaded glass windows.  A claw foot tub and sun porch....oh, it is perfect!

~Shasta

Dear Hailey...

Dear Hailey,
It's been 10 years since I've seen your sweet face, but it is one that I will never forget.  We met under tragic circumstances.  Hurricane Katrina had wreaked havoc in New Orleans and Baton Rouge was in chaos.  I was a 3rd grade teacher who would be forever changed by my interaction with you.

About 2 weeks after Katrina left her mark, my principal opened the door and introduced me to you.  You were a precious little 3rd grader with fear in her eyes.  I didn't know the circumstances around your move into the area, other than you had been uprooted because of the storm.  I knelt down to look you in the eye and took your hand to welcome you into my classroom.  A classroom that didn't have a desk, books, or supplies for you.  But it was a classroom that had a room full of kids who had opened their door to family members and friends who had also been uprooted.  Zachary had 10 extra people living in his house, so we didn't question whether you would stay or find another room with more space.

You were quiet.  I don't think you said very much in the short time that you were with us.  That first day was a blur.  I don't remember much other than your arrival.  After school, I was told your story.  You lived in Slidell and your home had been destroyed, as well as your school.  You were living in a shelter in the area and your mom wanted you to start school to keep some sort of normalcy in your life.  You had lost it all and were trying to make sense of the world again.  You were wearing clothes that were donated to you at the shelter, eating meals with people you didn't know, clinging to your momma at night because you were terrified.

The next day, as school began, I was called to the office.  You didn't want to come inside for the day.  You were clinging to your momma.  You were both crying and I started shortly after.  With help from the secretary, we peeled you off of your momma, assured her I would take extra good care of you, and brought you inside with you clinging to my side.

That day, I had a substitute teacher in the room so I could do reading assessments down the hall in the empty classroom.  I had everything set up for the class and let the sub know that I was just a short distance away in case she needed me.  It didn't take long for an SOS to come with the next student I needed to read to me.  I walked down the hallway and heard you sobbing.  As soon as I entered the room, you left your seat and attached yourself to me.  You spent the rest of the day with me reading quietly.

The rest of your time with me was similar.  You began to quietly talk to some of the other girls, but you didn't say much.  At recess, you played within my sight.  Each morning, I met you on the sidewalk and we did the same peel and hug maneuver.

After a week, you came in late one morning with flowers and a gift for me.  It was your last day.  Inside the wrapped present was a beautiful silver heart and a handwritten note thanking me for taking care of you.  The thoughtful words brought me to tears.  You gave me one of the fiercest hugs I've ever received.  It still sticks with me.  And with that, you walked out of my classroom 10 years ago.

I don't know where you are or what path your life has taken, but here I am 10 years later still thinking about you and the impact you made on me.  In a world that had been turned upside down, you taught me an important lesson that I still haven't forgotten.  That lesson was simple, students need to feel loved and cared for first.

There was no way that I could have taught you anything other than feeling safe that week.  You weren't ready and that was okay.

Thank you for trusting me while you were a guest.  I hope that you have found your place and you are changing your world.

Love,
Mrs. Looper

Assess Me Linky Week 2

I've broken the number one rule of blogging - one post a day, but...

Rachel over at The Tattooed Teacher is hosting week 2 of the Assess Me Linky.  I had to think about this one!

Let me admit something right off, I can't figure out how to change the color of a shape outline in Keynote.  So, if someone can help me out, I'd love you forever!

I am a casual girl.  All summer long I've worn came shorts, tank tops, and Birkenstocks - EVERY DAY!  Yes, I washed them, but that has been the uniform of choice.  My husband is spontaneous - not unrealistic for us to go to a wedding and then end up in the woods driving around looking for deer.  I told him yesterday I need to keep a bag of possibilities in the car at all times just in case I need to change shoes, wear long pants, etc.  But, if given the choice, jeans, shirt, and Birkenstocks are my choice. That goes for jewelry too.  Nothing too fussy!  Earrings are the most important accessory, but if the necklace is too fussy, I get frustrated. I've tried, honestly.

Rachel, I had no clue what Big Pimpin' was, so I had to watch both.  Unfortunately, I'm not a fan of either.  Boo!  But, you did introduce me to Thriftshop years ago and I loved it. So, there's that.

I'm a country girl now.  I was raised in the suburbs, but my husband has transformed me to the country life.  I like the quiet, the solitude, and the animals.  Give me a porch rocker and a sunset and I'm good.

Coffee is a necessity - all day!  This summer I've been known to drink a pot by myself.  I leave my house extremely early for school - 5:30 am and drink a cup before the hour commute, during the commute, and a cup at school.

I'm a night owl.  Give me school that starts at 11:00 am and goes until 5 or 6 and I'm good.  I get a 2nd wind and love to stay up late.  I get my best work done in the wee hours of the morning.

When Cheney and I got married we took a honeymoon on Amtrak across the country.  I loved it.  We had a sleeping car and turn down service, all of our meals in the dining car.  Loved every minute.  Would love to do it again, but in Europe.  I'm a nervous flyer, but appreciate the technology and use that as my go to for travel.

I love Central Air, but love Central Park!

Head on over to Rachel's to get the 4-1-1 on everyone else!

It's August!!!

Oh my!  It is already August!  Hard to believe that summer is pretty much gone.  Short post today as I link up with Farley over at Oh Boy! 4th Grade!  I love that she hosts this link up every month.  It's one of my faves!

I had a hard time finding things to binge watch on Netflix this summer - hard to believe right?  But, I landed on Freaks and Geeks this week - 2 weeks before school starts.  So far so good.

My dear husband knows the way to my heart is shoes.  Every year that we have been married, he has purchased me shoes for my birthday.  This year he hit it out of the park with my new Birkenstocks.  Hippie shoes, yes.  But, oh my word they are comfortable.  I've worn them every single day this summer.  My poor feet will not know what to do when school starts.  I always hate that adjustment.

I am taking a new position this year and so I don't have a classroom to get ready for students.  Honestly, I don't know what my space will look like because I am a coach.  So, I'm getting my office ready at home.  With that is a huge list of things to purchase - shelves, paint, rug, you know the drill.

I've taught summer school ALL summer, so there has been no vacation for me.  We are taking a quick day trip down to Charleston next week for a blogger meet up and then a flying run up the coast to Myrtle Beach to meet our great nephew for a few hours.  That is a lot of driving for a day trip.  Hopefully, when we have a few days in October we will be able to get away for a few days.

As a coach this year, I know it will be important to praise teachers for the amazingness I see in their classrooms.  So, I plan on making that a focus this year.  I know I'd appreciate it.

Assess Me! A Link Up with Tattooed Teacher

Linking up with my friend, Rachel, over at the Tattooed Teacher today for her Assess Me!  Hoping to hang out with her in real life at our Carolina bloggers meet up soon!

So, a few I have to be honest with before I close out this post.

Showering - Sunday is my LAZY day, I'll be honest.  If you stopped by my house on a Sunday, I'll have been in pajamas most of the day, sitting on the couch watching Netflix.  More than likely I will not even have my hair combed until my husband decides to go get something to eat.   It's what we do.

Glasses - I have a beautiful pair of Dolce & Gabbana glasses that I got a few years ago.  I still love them, but I don't wear them often.  However, I've hit 40 and have noticed a change in my eyesight, so I'm sure they will be getting used frequently this year.

Rachel, thanks for this great Assessment!  I love it! Head on over to see what others have said on this week's assessment!

What'cha Reading?

This summer has definitely been the summer of reading for me.  I've read 25 adult fiction/nonfiction books, 3 professional books, and I'm working my way through a box of 55 Scholastic chapter books for the upcoming school year.

So, I've read a lot of must-reads and a lot of not-so-great reads.  I've learned over 16 years of teaching that sometimes the books that I choose for my kids that I absolutely love, may not have the reaction I was hoping for.  Hope at Elementary Shenanigans did a great Periscope about this on Saturday.  I jumped on the Wonder train at the beginning of the school year and thought it would be an amazing book for my 5th graders.  While some thoroughly enjoyed it and couldn't wait to tackle the text, most were very indifferent.  So, I went back to the drawing board.  I want my kids excited about reading just as much as I am.

Here are some of my TOP reads from the year.

We started the year with this book and my students fell in love with it.  It is told by 6 different narrators and was a little complex, but after getting used to the format, my students loved it.  The story focuses on the relationship of teacher and students.  Previously, the group of characters proved to be quite the handful, but Mr. Terupt has a way of impacting their lives forever.

Most appropriate for 4th-5th grades.

My class chose this one as their all time favorite of the year.  We used it as a mentor text during our unit on Social Justice.  My kids connected to Ivan and shed tears over his confinement in a local carnival display.  It lead to great discussion about the treatment of animals and allowed us to stage classroom debates.

Most appropriate for grades 3rd-5th.

My top reading group loved this one.  Anything with a little mystery got their goat.  This was a group of all boys and they couldn't wait until reading group time so they could devour the book.  This is book one in a series, so throughout the year, I saw multiple kiddos finishing up the set.

Most appropriate for grades 4th-6th.

I've read a few this summer that were amazing!  It was nice to see Elementary Shenanigans include some of them on her list as well.

All I can say is WOW!  This book was amazing!  It gave a great perspective of life from a child with cerebral palsy who was unable to talk.  I read it very quickly and added it immediately to my must read aloud to my students.  I'm always looking for books that help to build empathy.

This has always been one of my favorite movies, but I didn't sit down and read the book until this summer. I loved it!  It was light, positive, and comical.  I can't wait to share it with my kiddos.

Now, this book, this is my book of the summer.  Jacqueline Woodson did a bang up job of sharing her family history.  I had a special connection with this text.  It is set in the city that I teach - Greenville, SC.  The book is set during the civil rights movement and Woodson uses free verse poetry to tell her story.  It's powerful and moving.  I plan to pair it with our civil rights non-fiction texts,  The Watson's Go to Birmingham,  and Bud, Not Buddy.

I would love for you to share your top reads for your class below.

An InLinkz Link-up